Sunday, March 16, 2008

A New Start

It's been six months since my illness began taking hold of me. For those that don't know, I suffer from Bipolar Disorder. I hate to use the word suffer, but I really do suffer from it~so do my family and friends. I am finally starting to feel "normal" and healthy again. I ended my last blog because I didn't think it was good to blog while my mind was being hijacked by either mania or depression. They have a way of doing that. Now I feel I have more of a purpose. I am a Christian, a wife, a mother, a homeschooler, a friend, and a person with Bipolar.

The goal of my new blog is to show all aspects of these and how they work together. I am never just one part of the equation. My life has changed dramatically since I last blogged. I am no longer working (minus a day route I do once a week that takes about 3 hours.) I may try to pick up some babysitting jobs, but there's nothing in the works as of yet. Ken is planning on picking up a part-time job to supplement some of the missing income. We are also cutting back a LOT. We don't live a cushy lifestyle as it is. Cutting back will be an adjustment for us all.

Being home full-time means that I can be the wife and mother that I dream about. I'll still never be a Martha Stewart, but I can be as scheduled and organized as possible. I love putting my children to bed at night now. We have a night time routine that my working made very difficult. We sit down at the table for meals now. It's become a priority. Ken has taken on the role as head of household. I am trying to be a submissive wife. We are working hard to fulfill our new roles, and the change has caused some drama in our lives. We are learning to deal with each other in new ways. Right now I'm homeschooling the kiddos while working on a new schedule to get my house in some order. I wish I could just get a dumpster to get rid of all of the stuff, but that's not the best solution. Slow and steady, I will work my way through the mess.

Yes, I know this blog is long, but I am wanting to explain the changes in my life. I now take my meds. every night before bed. I see my psychiatrist once every two weeks and my therapist once a week. This is what I need to do to stay stable at this point. I am working on a relapse prevention plan. This is a plan of action if signs and symptoms of my illness begin to show their ugly face. As some may know, I am usually the last to know I am ill. By then, my mind is no longer my own. My kids have to be a priority through all of this. They are lucky to see their mother suffer through an illness because they will be stronger and more accepting of others with disabilities. Having a father with a physical disability (cerebral palsy) helps in their understanding of true humanness. We all have difficulties in life and we need each other. Families are God's perfect example of how we can be there for one another. The amount of support and encouragement that I have received over the past few months have been enormous. My family has backed me up and helped me in ways I never could have imagined. I feel blessed to have such a great support system in my family.

I decided to take on a daily topic (thanks Lori) to help organize my blog.

Monday~School Stuff-anything dealing with homeschooling
Tuesday~Organization for the Organizationally Challenged-schedules, cleaning, toy bins, oh my!
Wednesday~All Things Food-healthy food, menu help, dieting, anything to do with feeding a family.
Thursday~Let's Get Spiritual-how am I helping to grow my family spiritually? What is on my mind when it comes to God, the Bible, and a Christian worldview.
Friday~Dealing With Mental Illness-What does living with Bipolar look like? What are my struggles?
Saturday~Family Fun-Finding my way through the world's view of family and walking the narrow path of a Christian housewife.
Sunday~Extra, Extra-Our weekly activities that didn't make the list.

1 comment:

Tess said...

Shari,

I am so proud of you. You truly are courageous!

Love,
Mom