Temper Tantrums

I lost my temper the other day. My kids were being obnoxious and I was irritable. While loading the dishwasher, one of my dishes got stuck, and I couldn't get the drawer to pull out. I tried to get my arm all the way back there, but my arm was too big. I asked Nathan to stick his skinny arms back there, but he swore that his arms weren't long enough. I was pretty sure he could stick it in farther if he tried. He argued with me. I argued with him. Then I lost it. I told him to forget it and I yanked the drawer with all my built up frustration. I broke the drawer and blamed it on my dear son. Then Katie wanted to talk to me while I was in the midst of trying to fix the drawer. Again, mommy yelled.

At this point we have an angry mom, angry son, crying daughter, and broken dishwasher. Katie asked me if I still loved her and I reminded her that of course I still love her. Mommy's just angry. I was able to fix the dishwasher~pretty much.

I sat down and cooled my jets. I'm not sure why I lost my temper, but I was rationalizing it the best I could. I will NOT apologize to these children. It was THEIR fault! Yes, I'll just keep telling myself that. Their fault. Their fault. Not my fault.

I finally allowed that little voice of reason to speak to me. If I don't apologize for my actions, how can I expect it from my children? So I called Nathan into my lap. He moaned and groaned to show me he was angry, but he sat there anyway. I told him that I was sorry for sinning against him. Mommy was angry and allowed my anger to get out of control. You don't have to forgive me right away, but I would like you to think about it. Again I'm sorry. He asked, "What about Katie? You yelled at her too." He's very protective of his sister. I told him I'd talk to her too. He said okay and walked away.

Then I called Katie onto my lap. I told her the same thing and she said, "It's okay Mommy. I love you." Oh, how sweet of her to forgive so easily. Later, Nathan also accepted my apology and forgave me.

The biggest lesson I've learned through parenting is that we adults can be the most childish of all. I can imagine the Lord looking down on us and thinking how foolish his children can behave. My temper tantrum reminded me that I am always growing spiritually and really need to grow up!