Cross Training Academy

Christmas Buzz

2008-11-09T11:12:00.003-06:00

I am so excited about Christmas this year. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. My family can look back on the days when I would have a count down written out. There's just something about Christmas that warms your heart during the cold season.

Unfortunately, Christmas was not a good holiday last year. I was very sick with my Bipolar and I couldn't find the joy. I went through the motions for the kids, but barely. Ken did all of the shopping for gifts, there were no Christmas cookies, I didn't even finish decorating the tree until the night before Christmas. I didn't know at the time what was wrong with me. I just knew that something was different in me.

I am so happy that the Lord has restored me. He has forgiven me for my sins and given me another chance to provide a beautiful and meaningful Christmas for my family. Right now I'm planning the Advent season. I'm also part of a cookie exchange so I need to start thinking about what kind of cookies I want to bake. I'm planning gifts (cheap gifts for the kids this year) and stocking stuffers. I'm even looking on Napster for some good Christmas music to play while decorating the tree.

Thank you Lord Jesus for Your mercy and grace that you have bestowed upon me. Thank you for second chances.

Back in the swing of things

2008-11-07T11:57:00.003-06:00

Could it be...Maybe it's possible...My life may be resuming to normal. Now I realize that I am saying this after one good day. I should probably wait until I have a few more days under my belt, but this day has and continues to be a success. I don't expect all days to be as good as this one but if we can find the magic potion that made this one good, maybe I can continue in my bliss.

Today I woke up at 7am. Since I've been out of it until close to noon all other days, this was a shocker. To top it off, I was wide awake and feeling drug free. I was able to make breakfast and have a conversation with Nathan before he headed to the bus stop. Soon Ken left and it was just Kate and I. I then decided to pull out the school books that we had been using before I got sick. I looked and looked for them and finally found them in an area where I never keep books.

We started on the letter B today. First we did lesson 8 out of Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons. First of all, Katie abhors this book and I can barely stand it myself. I'm using it because it's what we have and I know it will eventually work. I'm trying to supplement here and there with other ideas since she really doesn't like it. I think the reason for that is that she may not be ready for it yet.

Next, we read a Bearenstein Bears book about "Too Much Vacation." Then it was time for our Bible reading about Noah and the arc. We did a finger play about the animals (all beginning with B of course) getting on the arc and the sounds they make. It's a really cute finger play and Katie always enjoys these.

It was time to move to the table for our table work. I drew a bubble letter B. Katie then painted it with glue and used cinnamon to fill it in. It looks great and smells even better. Since we're working on the number 2 as well, I traced Katie's hands and she colored them in in all sorts of colors. Next we worked out of our Mead Handwriting book. Katie made a row of L's. Then onto Get Ready for the Code. Katie had to practice her T's in this book. Thankfully she knows all of her letters or it could get really confusing working on so many letters in a day.

That was it for the school day. That is a pretty typical day. Then it was time to organize clothes. This always seems to be the biggest job for me. I have to go through all of the children's old clothes and decided what they have outgrown. This goes in the charity pile. If they can wear it another year, it stays. Then I have to organize what they have for the fall. I receive so many clothes for Katie from her Aunt that we rarely have to buy anything for her. This year, Grandma and Grandpa really helped us out with dressing Nathan. So this job is finally done.

This has been my day so far. I'm not sure if you cared to hear all of that, but I'm glad that I'm doing so much better.

Books I'm reading

2008-11-06T15:09:00.002-06:00

Chipped dishes, zippers & prayer: Meditations for women by Ruth Gibson

The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide by Alex Chapman and Kim Gratz

Strengthening Your Marriage by Wayne A. Mack

Things That Go Bump in the Night: How to Help Children Resolve Their Natural Fears by Paul Warren and Frank Minirth

Although I can hardly get past 3 pages of reading at a time, I found all of these books to have great meaning in my life right now. The first book is a time for short meditation with the Lord. This is something that all women need. The book on Borderline Personality Disorder was purchased to see how well I fit the symptoms. I am constantly being diagnosed BPD or told that I have characteristics or BPD. Now I can understand what the doctors are talking about.

Ken and I are doing the Marriage book together, although we each have our own copy. This is because of all the difficulties we've faced together over the past year. Finally, the book on fears is for Nathan. I want to help him get over some of his fears. So that's what I'm reading right now.

change of heart

2008-11-03T12:20:00.002-06:00

Yes, of course it's been a long time since I blogged. I've been in and out (mostly in) of the hospital for the past few months. Without going into all of the gory details, Nathan ended up in public school. It wasn't my choice. I am dealing with a lot of grief over the decision, but have been having a change of heart. God put Nathan in public school for a reason. I know this for sure because no one wanted Nathan in public school. He's doing great. He already had three friends in his class before meeting the other children. He is in either the average or high level classes. Yet I still grieve the decision and see it as a failure of mine. I know, I know. I shouldn't view it as such but I do.

I still plan to homeschool Katie this year. We haven't started back up yet because I'm still trying to get my life back in order and get stabilized on my meds. I am looking forward to doing Little Hearts to Heaven by Heart of Dakota with her. It's a fun program. We did one week before being hospitalized and we had a blast.

Our first few days of school

2008-09-04T13:10:00.002-05:00

We decided to start school a week early. This was my decision, although I convinced Nathan that it was a good idea. Katie was on board, of course. I couldn't sleep well the night before because I was actually nervous! I have no idea what made me nervous. I think it was because I was less than prepared. So we were up early (7am) to shower and take daddy to work. We dressed, brushed teeth, ate breakfast, cleaned our rooms, and finished our other chores. I started school by setting Katie up with Nick Jr. Yes, my daughter gets to watch cartoons in the morning. Shoot me.

During this time, I pulled out the books with Nathan. I introduced him to his new books and we dove right in. Over the last three days, I realized that during the first hour, I am just going over assignments and giving new assignments. The only thing that we do "together" is our read-aloud. When all of Nathan's assignments have been written in his book, he heads upstairs with his books to get to work.

Now Katie and I start school. I feel like we are already getting into a good groove. We start with our finger play. We do the same one for an entire week, so Katie really gets to learn it. This week, we are learning about Adam and the Animals that God created. Of course, our letter of the week is A. After our finger play, we read our Bible story. Next, we do a lesson from Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Right now, Katie very much dislikes this book. I'm hoping that she will like it as she begins to read. Then I read two books to her.

Now we move to the kitchen table to do some workbook pages. She does one line of handwriting from a great Mead handwriting book. It's perfect for her skill level and only expects her to practice one letter a week. Then we do one or two workbook pages. This can come from computer printouts or from her phonics books. Finally, we end with Katie's favorite activities. One day we worked with modeling clay (a huge hit). The next day we drew with white crayons on white paper. Then we water painted with black to make our creation appear. Today, we glued marshmallows onto our giant A worksheet. We also have a huge A on our carpet made from blue painter's tape for Kate's animals to walk on.

After I'm done with Katie (about an hour), Nathan is allowed to ask for help. He's doing well at being independent in his work. I will answer questions about how a problem is done, but I will not help him with specific problems. When he is finished, I grade his work and put it in my grade book. The next day, when we go over missed problems, I add one or two points to his score for correcting his work.

School is not taking very long for me. I'm usually done by around noon. Nathan makes lunch from a schedule on our fridge. Then he finishes his work and is usually done by 1:00. He likes to get ahead by working on his assignments at bedtime. I don't usually mind him doing this.

Hopefully I will have some pictures to show soon.

Nathan's Birthday Party

2008-07-21T07:45:00.015-05:00

We celebrated Nathan's 10th birthday this past weekend with a slumber party. I don't know why they call it that. Very little slumbering actually took place. Here's a photo diary of the party. Unfortunately since I was in charge of the events and the camera, I missed some good photos. My mother told me to take lots of pictures so here are lots of pictures.

The garage pre-party.

Table for 8, although we ended up with 11.

The gift table.

The slip 'n' slide was popular in the beginning.

Katie had fun in the water with the boys.

A few boys preferred rough housing to playing in the water.

We did a water bomb toss and ended it with a full blown water balloon fight.

Look out!

More slip 'n' slide fun.

Look at that arm!

Katie wasn't going to let the boys have all of the fun.

Here's a good action shot.

I had eight boys at this point. They decided to show off their muscles for the camera.

What a bunch of goof balls.

After the water fun, the boys played some hoops.

This is the worst picture of Katie I have ever seen. It looks like she's growing a mustache. Oh well.

Some boys were playing football and others were playing ladder golf.

Next, we ate and played some more. I don't have many pictures of that. Here is Katie eating a cupcake in the kitchen when she thought no one was looking.

Katie cleaning up after dinner. My little helper:)

More basketball.

Nathan and Katie grabbing seconds on dinner. You'd think I never feed these kids with the way they eat.

Katie decided to take a break on the couch while watching the boys play. Next, we held two tournaments at the same time. I ran a basketball golf tournament outside while Ken ran a Wii bowling tournament. The winner of the tournaments each won door prizes. One chose a disk shooter while the other chose a whoopie cushion.

After the two tournaments, the boys played sharks and minnows, hot potato, and limbo. The winner of the games won a rubber baseball, a water bomb football, and a pack of baseball cards. At this point in was getting dark. The boys were so loud, you could here them at the other end of the subdivision. Oh my! I feel sorry for my neighbors.

Some MORE late night basketball.

A little visitor stopped by for a few minutes to see his big brother.

Here are some shots of the Wii tournament.

A friend stuffing a cupcake in his mouth.

Finally time to settle down for a movie. They have popcorn in those red cups.

Still posing for the camera. They were wired and it was about midnight.

They finally fell asleep at about 2:30-3:00am. Not before watching two movies, playing hide and seek, and having a popcorn fight. Oh, I was NOT happy about that one.

Do you SEE my carpet?? This is the next morning.

I made breakfast and had to wake them up so that they'd eat. They were wound up again for another 2 hours before I sent them all home. I was never so happy for 9am to roll around. I was exhausted. I spent the rest of the morning napping and cleaning. Overall, the party was a success and the boys had a good time. No more parties for a loooong time.

Boys Being Boys

2008-07-17T18:14:00.002-05:00

That is just a statement...not an excuse. Boys are rough. Boys think they're tough. Well, I had my first run in with the boys in the neighborhood being less than polite. Nathan told me that his good friend wanted to beat him up. This didn't sound like him at all. His friend is quiet and polite. Earlier today, Nathan tells me that three of his friends are punching him.

Okay, time for Mom to step in. I walk down the street and see the boys. They see me and begin to run. I yell, "You three come over here or I'll speak with all of your parents." They turn around and come over to me. One of the older sisters comes over too. I choose to speak to her, knowing that I'll get a better look at what really happened. Of course, I find out that Nathan was not innocent in all of this. (Big surprise.)

Basically, Nathan accidentally hit his friend in the eye. I truly believe that it was an accident because Nathan doesn't get physical with his friends. This said friend then threatens to beat up Nathan. Nathan does climb on the back of another friend and now they are all fighting. I asked Nathan to apologize for his behavior. He did, and one of his friends said it was okay right away. Another kid was reluctant to accept his apology. I'm not surprised by this kid.

So there are four prepubescent boys trying to beat up on each other. I hate being the mean mom that steps in, but I could see that they were not working it out on their own. This was just one more way that reminds me that I'm the adult. I know my mom finds that hilarious, but sometimes I still don't feel like the adult. I hope Nathan can make it through his childhood and teenage years without too many fist fights. Having only a sister, this is pretty new to me and I don't like it one bit.

What An Imagination

2008-07-14T19:22:00.003-05:00

I sit in awe of my daughter's huge imagination. She has spent the majority of her day making a map of planets. These include shape planet, chocolate planet (my favorite), river planet, pencil planet, and robot butterfly planet to name just a few. Now it is time to build our spaceship. Unfortunately, Katie does not think that this is just make believe. She really thinks we're heading for space. The spaceship is going to be built from the vacuum cleaner, our computer, and a special cord to plug it in. Then we'll stick some fire underneath it and we're off! It will take 10, no 100 minutes to get into space! This, of course, because 100 is the largest number that Katie knows.

So I sit down with Katie and tell her that going into space is fun, but that it's just make believe. She almost burst into tears. I state to her that only astronauts can go into space. She told me that she was an astronaut. I announce that if she wants to be an astronaut, she'll have to do well in school and learn all about space. I asked her what planet we live on. She said, "the one where we are." I asked her what other planets are in our solar system and she began naming some of her pretend planets.

Katie's sitting in front of the TV with a blank look on her face while watching A Night at the Opera. I may have killed her fantasy of flying into space. I sure hope not. She'll just find another fantasy land to live in. The joys of preschool.

My Chillens

2008-07-12T00:27:00.004-05:00

Here's my chillens just chillin' this summer.

Kate with her 36 piece puzzle. She was so proud to figure this one out.

Can you figure out whose job it is to straighten the shoes?

Katie passed out after a long day of swimming and partying at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

She's my ham for the camera.

One of my only shots of Nathan doing his school work. He's usually out with his friends all day, so I don't get to spend much time with him.

The kids' paintings. Who copied who (or is it whom?)

Katie working hard at her cutting and painting.

There's my ham again.

I decided one night at about 8pm to try to put together Katie's bike. This is why she's riding her bike in the dark while wearing her nightgown. Yes, I'm that kind of mom.

Nathan was catching fireflies while Katie rode her bike.

July 4th

2008-07-07T14:06:00.013-05:00

Here are July 4th pictures. We spent the majority of our day with my sister-in-law and her family. I can't believe I didn't get any pictures of the fireworks, but I guess if you see them once, you've seen 'em a million times.

My brother-in-law grilling. All the food was great!

Katie enjoying the sun, but not the water slide.

Nathan definitely enjoying the water slide!

She timidly gave it a try. She never did make it down the other end.

Nathan sure did

Here's their cousin, Hannah.
Their other cousin, Evan

Hannah helped Katie give it another try.

The boys had the most fun.

This one shows all four having a blast.

Nathan soaking wet

This is Molly. She's the cutest little dog, and I'm not a dog person.

Nathan and Evan were playing with water guns.

Time to dry off and get dressed again.

My beautiful princess.

This is Logan, a friend's son. He thought the water fountain was just that: a water fountain! Thankfully the water was fresh and the fountain pretty clean. He kept sneaking drinks when the adults weren't looking.

Katie being silly while the bigger kids were playing with sparklers.

Katie looks so big next to little Logan.

June, my sister-in-law and our friend, Jenny.

Does the Planning Ever Stop??

2008-07-06T17:12:00.003-05:00

I guess the planning stops when the teaching begins. Since I still have two months to go, I guess I'll be at it for a while.

Here are Nathan's school books. I took this picture about a month ago. I decided to drop the Spelling Power book and pick up Spelling by Scope and Sequence by Rod and Staff. I just love their stuff so much. I also added Handwriting Without Tears Cursive grades 3 & 4 to help build up his handwriting skills. This is the best handwriting program for those with poor fine motor skills. After the first semester, he can begin writing his assignments in cursive. I'll also be purchasing the next book in Math-U-See because Nathan is flying through Delta (division) and will be ready for Epsilon (fractions) by the beginning of the school year.

Here are some of the books we'll be using for reading. I keep finding great deals on good books at Goodwill so I'll often pick up a dozen or so for about $8.00. You can't beat that kind of price.

Here are Katie's books for next year. Most of hers are read alouds. The main part of her curriculum is actually hiding in the top left corner. I'll be using Little Hands to Heaven with the Children's Bible to the left of that. For phonics, we'll be using Explode the Code (A,B, and C) and Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons.

Right now I'm preparing for Nathan's birthday party. We are planning on about a dozen boys, so I'm a little overwhelmed. After the party, I have to get my plans ready to stay at my parents house for about a month. When I get home, it will be time to start school. Then I'll be wishing I had more time to relax.

My Birthday Boy and Event Planner

2008-07-02T14:50:00.002-05:00

Nathan is my birthday boy today. He's made it to double digits, although there were days when I didn't think it would ever come. Looking back over the years, I see how very far we've come in ten years. I was admittedly very young and stupid when he was born. He was a bundle of joy. He forced me to grow up as we battled his early years of ADHD. I realized that I needed to stick up for this tiny child, because too often others would try to tear him down. As he has grown and matured, I can see the young man that he is becoming. My prayer for him is 2 Timothy 2:15 "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

On a much lighter note, Katie is my little event planner. She LOVES to plans events, even though they are all pretend. She wants to invite her friends and family to events such as her wedding (to her brother), her birthday party (she was upset that she didn't turn 5 today), and to her paper lantern party (whatever that is.) She will set up decorations, plan food, games, and make invitations. She even picked flowers for her wedding. I just love the imagination and creativity at this age.

I almost forgot, Nathan has a girl that is crazy about him. Aaaaahhhhh! No, not yet. He's too young. Thankfully Nathan is still running away from this girl who calls him her boyfriend. I have Preparing for Adolescence, Boyhood and Beyond devotional, and Learning About Sex: A Series for the Christian Family. Time to crack open the books. Yes, I know that everything isn't taught in a book, but they can help lead to conversations. Pray for my sanity!

More Summer Photos

2008-07-02T01:03:00.017-05:00

We're still having a fun and relaxing summer. Here's some photos taken recently.

Garage Woes

2008-06-23T13:50:00.015-05:00

Nathan is turning 10 in about 10 days. I can't believe it! A few days ago, I decided to give him a birthday party. Not only does he want a party, he wants a sleep over. So I thought it over and came up with a lot of great ideas to make a fun party.

First, I'll have ladder golf, lawn darts, and the basketball hoop set up for the boys to play with. After about 1.5 hours, we'll eat dinner. Then we'll split the boys into two groups. One group will make tie dye shirts while the others play a game of basketball golf. When they're done, they'll switch. Next, the kids can have more free play with ideas like sharks and minnows, freeze tag, relay races, and a water balloon fight. Then it'll be time for cake and presents. After that, we'll have games in the garage like party bingo, limbo, hot potato, Chinese telephone, and a mummy wrap contest with door prizes. Finally, I'll set the kids up with popcorn and a movie.

Although I'm really excited to give Nathan his birthday party, I know there's a lot of work that needs to be done. The most important task is cleaning out the garage. I worked for about 5 hours today with Nathan's help to clean it out. It may not look great yet, but there have been great improvements.

Here's the garage after all of the hard work. Everything is much more organized than before. We killed about 50 spiders over the course of the morning and I sprayed for bugs like crazy.

This pile is going with us to my parents' house. It is garbage that I'm sticking in their dumpster. Thankfully, it will be out of here in a few days.

I put the legs on the couch and cleaned it out. Now people can sit on it and I don't think they'll be attacked by creepy crawly things. I'll probably clean it out once more to make sure. All of the boxes behind it are waiting to be taken to the dumpster as well.

The rake, scooter, and basketball hoop are staying. All the rest is garbage waiting to be taken away. Yes, both bikes are broken. I think I buy Nathan a new bike every year because he's so hard on them.

Here are two of the tables that we'll be using for the party. I have one more that I'll set up later. All of the garbage bags are for the donation truck that comes around once a month. Hopefully they'll come before the party so we can get rid of them.

This is Katie's sand and water table along with a box of sports balls. These are staying.

I was able to put more stuff on our shelves. Most of this stuff is holiday decorations.

Nathan worked really hard, but he did complain toward the end. I explained that it was important to finish the job that was started. I was proud of his willingness to help. After the job was finished, he and Katie went out back to play in the water.

Summer Days

2008-06-20T23:20:00.008-05:00

We've been having a great summer so far. We're still working on math and reading, but the rest of our time is focused on fun and relaxation.

This past week was spent at VBS and the kids had a blast. The learned about the 7 C's of history: Creation, Corruption, Catastrophe, Confusion, Christ, Cross, Consummation. There was a dinner tonight followed by a program put on by the kids. They all did a great job.

Nathan's summer seems to revolve around household responsibilities, outside time with his friends, and the Wii. Katie has fun hanging out with mom and being crafty. We try to get outside when it's not too hot or rainy. We also go to a local park every Wednesday with our homeschooling friends.

Here are some pictures of the kids at the pool with Mom and Grandma. We will be taking advantage of the pool more often during our stay with Grandma and Grandpa.

Nathan filling his water gun.

Katie getting brave at the deep end.

Katie posing with Grandma.

Nathan learned to float on his back.

Katie kept getting cold, so she had to sit in the sun for a while to warm up.

Nathan may also be taking swimming lessons this summer, and the kids may attend another VBS toward the end of July. I want to make sure that they are kept busy but I want it to be relaxing and fun at the same time. School will be back before I know it and it will be back to the grindstone for us.

We're Almost Ready

2008-06-20T11:05:00.002-05:00

Over the past few months, I've been getting our curriculum ready for the coming school year. I knew I needed something that was Christian-based, inexpensive, well planned out, and fairly simple on my part. I also wanted something that would push Nathan out of his comfort zone. He is used to a more relaxed style of homeschooling, but now that he's getting older I want him to do more writing and independent work. Here is what I have for him this year:

Rod and Staff:
Reading 5 "A Time to Plant"
English 5 "Following the Plan"
Science 5 "God's Wonderful World"
Spelling 5 "Spelling by Sound and Structure"
Bible 5 "God Chooses a Family"
History/Geography 4 "Homelands Around the World"
Music 5 "Growing in Music"
Art 5 Artpac
Math U See for Math (Delta and Epsilon)
A Reason For Handwriting Level D

This year I'll be adding Katie into the mix. She will only be doing preschool work, but I wanted something that would be Christ-centered, fun for her, little preparation time for me, and at her level. I found something that I think will be just great for her. This is what we are using this year for Katie:

Little Hearts to Heaven by Heart of Dakota~LOVE IT!
This includes A child's First Bible, My ABC Bible Verses, and The Singing Bible CD.
I'll also use the set of 4 preschool activity books through Rod and Staff.

So take some time and check out the links. All of the links have samples of the work the kids will be doing throughout the year. I plan on keeping a weekly journal of our homeschooling for this coming year. Hopefully I can keep on top of it. Although I'm excited to start using our new stuff, we still have a busy summer ahead of us.

Temper Tantrums

2008-06-19T12:48:00.003-05:00

I lost my temper the other day. My kids were being obnoxious and I was irritable. While loading the dishwasher, one of my dishes got stuck, and I couldn't get the drawer to pull out. I tried to get my arm all the way back there, but my arm was too big. I asked Nathan to stick his skinny arms back there, but he swore that his arms weren't long enough. I was pretty sure he could stick it in farther if he tried. He argued with me. I argued with him. Then I lost it. I told him to forget it and I yanked the drawer with all my built up frustration. I broke the drawer and blamed it on my dear son. Then Katie wanted to talk to me while I was in the midst of trying to fix the drawer. Again, mommy yelled.

At this point we have an angry mom, angry son, crying daughter, and broken dishwasher. Katie asked me if I still loved her and I reminded her that of course I still love her. Mommy's just angry. I was able to fix the dishwasher~pretty much.

I sat down and cooled my jets. I'm not sure why I lost my temper, but I was rationalizing it the best I could. I will NOT apologize to these children. It was THEIR fault! Yes, I'll just keep telling myself that. Their fault. Their fault. Not my fault.

I finally allowed that little voice of reason to speak to me. If I don't apologize for my actions, how can I expect it from my children? So I called Nathan into my lap. He moaned and groaned to show me he was angry, but he sat there anyway. I told him that I was sorry for sinning against him. Mommy was angry and allowed my anger to get out of control. You don't have to forgive me right away, but I would like you to think about it. Again I'm sorry. He asked, "What about Katie? You yelled at her too." He's very protective of his sister. I told him I'd talk to her too. He said okay and walked away.

Then I called Katie onto my lap. I told her the same thing and she said, "It's okay Mommy. I love you." Oh, how sweet of her to forgive so easily. Later, Nathan also accepted my apology and forgave me.

The biggest lesson I've learned through parenting is that we adults can be the most childish of all. I can imagine the Lord looking down on us and thinking how foolish his children can behave. My temper tantrum reminded me that I am always growing spiritually and really need to grow up!

Check out our logo!

2008-06-10T01:04:00.003-05:00

Yes, I decided to make a logo for our school. It's on the right side of this page. When I gather some money, I'm going to officially purchase my logo and get some shirts made for all of us. I'd like to do this for the beginning of this coming school year or maybe Christmas. What do you think?

I hate dieting!

2008-05-15T00:17:00.003-05:00

I really hate it. I've been doing horribly at it as well. Lately it seems that Ken and I start a new diet everyday. It's not that we have less will power than previous attempts. It's just that we are so tired of dieting. Losing weight and keeping it off just don't come easily for us.

Maybe I'll change the focus off of losing weight and onto eating healthier. I know that the two should go hand-in-hand, but sometimes the scale takes over and all you can concentrate on are the numbers. If you go up half a pound, you feel defeated. I wish I could convince Ken that green food is not his enemy. Unfortunately, he wasn't expected to eat them as a child and I doubt I'll ever change that.

I'm just hoping that something will click, and the desire to lose will win over the desire to eat.

On the homeschooling front, I filled out my schedule for finishing this year's school books. Since I stopped homeschooling for a few months while sick, I am now behind in all subjects. I started with 80 days left which would take us all the way through August and into September. That means we would have absolutely no break. I was able to condense the work (more per day) to get it down to 50 more days of school. Basically when we finish one book, we double up on another. Since we'll finish our science book first, we'll start reading two history lessons a day. When those are finished, we will do 3 pages of grammar a day. My goal is to finish our history, science, grammar, and Chronicles of Narnia books. During this time, we will continue with Bible, math, reading, spelling, and handwriting.

It's nice to see the finish line, even if it still seems far away. I have a goal to work toward. Thankfully homeschooling is not a sprint, but a marathon. This allows for plenty of wiggle room for our human errors and personal plights.

Great Websites

2008-05-13T01:14:00.004-05:00

I've been cleaning out my list of favorite websites so that I can find what it is that I really like. Sometimes I add sites into "my favorites" so that I can go back to them later. When I do finally get back to them, I can't remember why I put them there to begin with. Well, I added some new sites and found some old favorites that I will be using more often. Here are a few that I highly recommend for fellow homeschoolers.

LearningPage.com~This is a great website for the early elementary age. Membership is free and they have great unit studies with plenty of worksheets.

Storyline Online~I love this website and so do both of my children. Are there ever those days when you just don't have time to sit down and read a good book to your kids? How about setting them at the computer and letting some famous person (some of whom I don't know) read them a story. You can choose from 21 picture books. There are some great books such as Stellaluna and The Polar Express.

Sheppard Software~This is a website I definitely plan to use for the upcoming school year. Although they offer many different subjects, I especially like their geography. You can study the United States, another country, or the entire world. If you wanted to learn where all of the states are, you could use the tutorial. Then once you feel you know them better, take the beginner quiz. The quizzes get harder until you are an expert on the states. They also have this option for the countries, capitals, topographical regions, oceans and continents, etc. I think we'll have a fun year of geography with this tool.

Explorer Bible Study~You can sign up for free and receive 30 weeks of bible lessons for preschool through high school. I just signed up and printed out this week's lesson for both of the kids. They will be studying the same thing at their own level. Each week, just visit the website to download the next lesson. It's as easy as that.

Have fun checking out the different websites, and let me know your favorites.

School Stuff

2008-05-12T17:45:00.006-05:00

I bought a workbook recently to help children take the standardized test for 4th grade. I decided to pitch it. I hate it. Some of the things on their math section won't be taught until Nathan reaches pre-algebra. I actually looked these items up in the scope and sequence of his math program. This is when I learned them too. In fact, I had no clue what the answers were until I looked them up. Some of the words that the kids were expected to know were very difficult. I think vocabulary is important, but I also think Nate's vocabulary is fairly good for his age. He had a hard time with about half of the words.

This book just made me feel inferior and defeated. It also made me frustrated with Nathan for not "knowing it all." I don't want our homeschool to look like that. I know that Nathan is learning every day. This has been a rough year for us, but I don't think it has been a waste. In fact, Nathan has learned a lot this year. Here's a small list of what he's done or learned:

He's read numerous books; increasing his speed, ability, and vocabulary.

He's learned how to write in cursive, and it is improving all the time.

He memorized over 100 Bible verses.

He studied the lives of Moses, Jesus, Jacob and his 12 sons, and Noah in depth.

He learned about ancient history, going all the way back to creation.

He learned about rocks, plants, weather, and animals during science.

His spelling has improved over the school year.

He enjoyed snuggling with me while listening to a good book.

He's become a better brother while caring for his sister.

He's become a better son when I needed taken care of.

He's grown both physically and emotionally.

I'm proud of my soon to be fifth grader. We will continue on through the summer to help "catch up," but I really believe that we are just where we should be. I already told Nathan that next year will be much more tough. He will be using a strict textbook type method of homeschooling (Rod & Staff). I think he is ready for the extra load. I think he is more mature and capable of handling increased writing along with independent work. He was excited to hear about the challenge of next year, although slightly intimidated. I pray that I am continually following the Lord's lead in our homeschool.

Recent Photos

2008-05-06T15:40:00.005-05:00

Here are some recent photos taken from one of our co-op groups. The first are taken from a field trip taken at a local nature center.

Nate climbing on top of the only natural occurring cave in Illinois. (He has the red and black jacket on.)

This is about half of the kids on a lookout over the Fox River.

The cave looks small on the outside, but we have about 25 kids in the cave.

Our group in front of the cave.

The next two pictures are from last Monday at our graduation ceremony for the kids.

We had the ceremony at one of the mom's house. She has a creek running through her backyard with a large wooded area. The kids played back there for hours, and I took home two soaked children at the end of the day. We had a great day. They're both very proud of their certificates.

Recent Events

2008-05-02T13:17:00.010-05:00

I know it's been a long time since I've blogged. Depression has really gotten the best of me over the past month and I don't feel like doing much out of the regular day-to-day. Anything extra is out of the question unless my family encourages me with a swift kick in the tush.

Here are a few of the things I've been doing or dealing with lately. First, I'm trying really hard to lose some weight. I cannot completely blame the meds. or my illness for my weight gain, but they do play a role. I'm currently doing the Atkins diet to work on losing at least 25 lbs. I'm down 5 lbs. so far. I'm not crazy about the diet, but it seems to help me get the weight off without thinking too much about the food I eat. I was just given 8 large garbage bags filled with clothes for about 2 sizes smaller so I must lose the weight to try on all the new clothes. Yeah! Nothing like new clothes to help me stick to a diet.

We have been trying to get outside on the nice days lately. Here are some pics of the kids at the park near our house. We have plans to get together with other families over the summer to go to the park together also. I think it's important to keep Nathan and Katie in touch with their homeschool friends throughout the summer.

Katie gravitates toward the sand as usual.

Why do kids like to climb the slides so much?

Nate on the far side of the park at the basketball hoop. Thankfully we have a hoop at home because this area is usually ruled by the high school boys. He likes to play here while they're in school.

We also went to our first baseball game of the season. It was actually a doubleheader because they were rained out the night before. It was very windy and a tad cold, but we had fun anyway.

Nate was given a ball by one of the coaches during their warm up.

Katie loves to wear my sunglasses. She's so cheesy!

The Cougars won the first game.

They lost the second.

The end of a school year means a slow down in activities. One of our co-ops ended last week and our other co-op ends tomorrow. We have a final get together and the children receive end of the year certificates. Awanas finished with an awards night. Both Nathan and Katie received awards for finishing a book. Katie learned 25 verses this year and Nathan learned over 100 verses. Nathan also was given McDonald's bucks for learning the most verses out of his fourth grade boys class.

I'm hopefully creeping out of my funk that I've been in lately. I pray daily for God to continue to heal me and help me each day to do my best. There are days where my best is homeschooling, cleaning house, playing with the kids, running errands, and having dinner on the table when Ken gets home. There are also days where getting out of bed, reading with the kids, brushing my hair, getting dressed, and ordering pizza is about the best I can do. I'm lucky to have such a supportive family that looks out for me and helps me through the rough patches.

Finally!

2008-04-10T00:42:00.003-05:00

It looks like we have a tentative date for Nathan's baptism. May 17th or 18th should be the day. Certain family members have been getting on my case to get this thing going. I'm having email conversations with the man in charge of baptisms at our church and Nate will have to attend a baptism session and share his testimony. I know he'll be nervous about this, but I'll help him through this. I know I was horribly nervous to share when I was baptized.

I love to watch my children grow in Christ. I can really see Nathan learning more and more about God, His character, the Bible, and how our lives are affected by it all. He is still young and immature in many ways, but I hope that he is gaining a strong foundation in the Lord. I also love to see Katie growing in Jesus. She missed quite a lot of AWANA this year due to my being ill and some bad weather/illness, but she is finally caught up in her book. Both of the children will receive awards for finishing their books this year. I'm surprised to see the growth in her abilities to memorize verses over this past year. In the beginning of the year, she could barely memorize one verse. Now she is easily memorizing 3 verses and actually remembering them.

The beauty of raising children in the Lord is seeing the fruit that develops. Our main goal with our children is to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord and pray for their souls. Nathan accepted Christ at 4 years old. I know I will see him in heaven one day. Right now I am teaching Katie about Jesus and His gift to us. I want her to always know what a wonderful gift He provided for us so when she is ready, she too will say the prayer of salvation.

Totally Overwhelmed

2008-04-02T16:06:00.002-05:00

My home has me completely overwhelmed. I wish I could say that I am just taking it one task at a time and all is well, but it's not that simple. There are the day to day tasks that seem to fill up my day and the extras seem very difficult to get to. If I do start organizing, I feel like I don't quite know where to start and I always want to move into different areas than where I started. I'm ready to go get a dumpster to haul half of the stuff I have in this house out of here.

What I did accomplish today was making a grocery list. Yes, silly as it may sound, it was an accomplishment for me. We need to go grocery shopping so I took some recipes from my sister's and made a meal plan for the next two weeks. Then I wrote out the list. That took me about 2 hours to accomplish. Now I'm praying that it isn't that expensive at the grocery store. Otherwise my hubby will NOT be happy with this. I'll have to explain to him that we are not going out to eat anymore and are saving money that way, but I still need to be as frugal as possible while at the store.

So there you have it. I'm completely overwhelmed. There are still boxes of Katie's stuff in my room that I moved in order to organize her room two weeks ago. I still haven't cleaned under her bed. Her room is still a mess and I'm so overwhelmed, I've been avoiding it for a while now. Any advice would be helpful.

Homeschooling Is NOT Our Savior

2008-03-24T18:07:00.002-05:00

...Thankfully! Let's face it, homeschoolers can be a bit self-righteous. Due to our homeschooling efforts (which can take up the majority of our time and thoughts), our youngsters will grow up to be great men and women of God. Well, we can all hope for that. This is not always the case. Fortunately, children are unique creations of God and not little robots for us to program. Our children will disappoint us. They will embarrass us. They may even turn away from our teaching.

As homeschoolers, we want to yell out, "but I homeschooled my kids! This isn't supposed to happen! This only happens to those public school kids. Not mine!"
Homeschooling does not protect our children from all evil tendencies. Sin lives in the hearts of all boys and girls.

I've been having a rough homeschooling day today. Both of my "little angles" have been driving me bonkers today. Katie was having 2 year old temper tantrums over everything, and Nathan found it necessary to argue with me over everything. By noon, I was ready to rip my hair out. It would be so much easier to just ship these wild children of mine off to public school so I could have some moments of peace.

I know in my heart that even though homeschooling does not save me or my children, the time I get to spend with them is precious. Our moments of playing, disciplining, and learning are important. I wouldn't do them if I didn't find them Godly and of value. We need to be reminded that children from all schooling backgrounds struggle. Our holier than thou attitude sometimes needs to be checked. Let's just continue in humble prayer for our children, their education, and their salvation.

Easter Business

2008-03-22T20:47:00.003-05:00

What a busy day I had. This morning was filled with Easter readiness. I had to finalize our plans for tomorrow. Then I took the kids to the Easter party at church. When you attend a large church like we do, these parties are more like mega-parties. There was a petting zoo, cookie decorating (and eating, of course), one of those air filled obstacle courses, and of course the infamous egg hunt. There were at least 1,000 people there, so we only stayed long enough to do each activity once. This still took over an hour to accomplish. I was definitely ready to head home.

Now that I know I'll be leaving for Lori's (my sister) on Wednesday with the two kiddos, I'm in the planning process for both school and packing. I'm a little intimidated about riding on the Amtrak train for the first time with two kids and way too much luggage. I'm an overpacker as it is then add in school books and I hope I don't forget one of my children at home. I'll be making plenty of lists to prepare.

I then had to go to Goodwill and the grocery store to pick up a few things. After dealing with a ton of traffic and returning home, I realized I needed to run to the teacher supply store. Thankfully, it's only about 5 minutes from my house.

Cooking, laundry, beginning stages of packing, playing with kids, trying not to completely ignore my hubby, more school planning, laundry again, cleaning, etc. That was my day in a nutshell. I'm looking forward to my day of rest.

Medication Blues

2008-03-21T16:31:00.003-05:00

I HATE taking meds! I don't know why, but I have a huge aversion to popping pills. I don't even like taking vitamins. I know that with bipolar disorder, I really have no choice but to take the meds. I'm pretty lucky to live in a time when medication is so readily available with few side effects. People used to live in insane asylums due to a lack of treatment for illnesses such as bipolar disorder. Left untreated, many of these people would end up in psychosis and need to be monitored on a regular basis. Thankfully, I am able to pop a few pills at bedtime and live a pretty normal life.

So why do I fight the urge to skip the pills? I'm not sure why. Maybe because I wish I was strong enough to fight the illness with my own willpower. Unfortunately just as a cancer patient cannot will away the cancer, I cannot will away my depression and mania. Also, I really don't like the side effects that I do have to deal with. I have to deal with an increased appetite (just what I don't need), dry mouth, and drowsiness. I mean, there are days where I just cannot stay awake. This is unusual, but those days still exist. Mostly my eyelids just feel like they are made of metal. I may not even feel all that sleepy, but I can't keep my eyes open.

Today Nathan was telling me about his new book that he was reading (King of the Wind.) He had only read 4 chapters, but I know how he goes into major detail when he narrates his story back to me. I told him that I would be listening, but I had to close my eyes. I heard every word he said, but my eyes were shut the entire time. I know that that's better than not listening at all.

I mean, a few months ago I wasn't even sure I wanted to keep my children. Mania has a way of distorting your thinking that much. I could honestly see how mothers could get up and walk away from their husbands and children. Now looking at that scenario, I figure the mothers must be ill. I certainly was. Thankfully I never did walk away. I love my husband and children very much. I would give my life for any and all 3 of them.

If you are unfamiliar with bipolar disorder or would like to learn more, a great book by Kay Redfield Jamison is An Unquiet Mind. An excerpt from her book is here. She is also bipolar and it is in a way an autobiography. She has a way of describing the illness that no textbook could come close to. She lives and breaths the illness. An excellent book indeed.

Easter Bunnies and Plastic Eggs

2008-03-20T17:25:00.002-05:00

We like the Easter Bunny here. The children hunt for eggs every Easter. These plastic eggs are usually filled will candy, gifts, and money. Even though we never pushed the Easter Bunny as an oversized bunny who visits our home and leaves baskets full of goodies, my children still find him to be a fun character and don't mind getting their picture taken with him.

We also celebrate the real meaning of Easter. We read about the days that led up to Jesus' death, burial, and Resurrection. Our children learn about why Jesus suffered the way he did. They know that Jesus thought about them specifically as he faced the cross. It was personal. Christ didn't die for just anybody. He died for each person specifically and personally. He knew the sins that he was dying for.

We enjoy the early morning church service on Easter Sunday. Next, we spend time with family as the kids search for eggs and we finish the day with dinner. This is similar to the way I was raised. I never thought the Easter bunny died for my sins or that Jesus was just a cartoon character. I could always tell the difference between what was real and what was "just for fun." If I ever feel that my children are choosing bunnies or Jesus, we will abruptly change our focus. It's about reading the child's heart.

Maundy Thursday

2008-03-20T14:44:00.002-05:00

Growing up, we never celebrated Maundy Thursday. On this day, Jesus washed the disciples' feet, there was the first communion at the last supper, Jesus suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, and Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Maundy Thursday is the beginning of the Easter Triduum, which means the 3-day period leading up to Easter.

We don't have any plans today for Maundy Thursday. Tomorrow I will do a project and a foot washing to show Christ's love for his disciples. I will also watch The Passion of the Christ with Ken. This is an annual thing for us.

Tonight we are taking Ken to see his new doctor. His blood pressure is through the roof. We want to talk to the doc about getting his weight down. We are even thinking about gastric bypass surgery. Although Ken is not overly excited about the idea, he knows that his health is in danger. His sleep apnea may be back and his blood pressure has been at a dangerous level, even while on medication. Many people in his family have developed diabetes, although luckily he has shown no signs of this yet. The kids are going to stay and their grandparents' house while I go with Ken. We bought a blood pressure monitor to keep track of his BP. Hopefully the doctor will have some good recommendations for Ken.

Food...Ugh!

2008-03-19T12:36:00.004-05:00

I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love to eat it and I hate to prepare it. It's not so much that I hate the prep. I think I really lack the proper skills of preparation. I don't know how to make a menu. I don't know how to make a grocery list. I don't have recipes that suit my family well. So now I am on a quest to gain the recipes and the knowledge to do these things better.

Breakfast and lunch are pretty much a no-brainer around here. I'm not the kind of mom who must make everything by scratch. I don't mind boxed mac'n'cheese. I just prefer that there be a decent amount of fruits and vegetables on the table. Here's a sample of breakfast for the week:

Sunday~donuts (quick and easy for Church)
Monday~scrambled eggs with bacon and toast
Tuesday~oatmeal with fruit
Wednesday~cereal and milk
Thursday~french toast with sausage
Friday~oatmeal with fruit
Saturday~cereal with milk

Here's a sample of lunch for a week:

Sunday~mac'n'cheese with garlic cauliflower
Monday~veggie soup with baked potato
Tuesday~grilled cheese with tomato soup
Wednesday~fajita chicken wraps with salsa corn
Thursday~tuna salad on top of greens
Friday~homemade turkey and veggie pizza
Saturday~out to lunch with daddy

Snacks range from fruit, yogurt, chips, veggies and dip, etc. I would like to have a menu that I can follow on a regular basis. As of now, I just make whatever we have in the pantry. Dinner is going to be my biggest problem. This is what I need for a successful dinner:
~Healthy
~Cooked in 1 hour or less
~Not too difficult to make
~Vegetables separate since Ken doesn't eat veggies
~Inexpensive

I know there aren't many people reading my blog yet since my old blog has been made new again, but I'm up for ideas.

Learning All the Time

2008-03-19T01:26:00.002-05:00

We had a coupon for a local buffet restaurant, so we went out to dinner tonight. While eating, I gave Nate some sentences to see if he remembered his limited and descriptive adjectives. He did pretty well. When we came home, the kids bathed and hopped into bed. Since their bedtime is 8:00PM, I'm pretty lenient with Nathan and allow him to read his Bible, work on verse memorization, or move ahead in his school books. Tonight, he did 11 pages in a multiplication review book that I bought him, 2 pages from his handwriting book (great work here), practiced his verses, and read the Bible. I finally had to tell him he needed to stop and go to bed. If only I could get this kind of work out of him during the day. Maybe I need to make his bedtime 6:00 and let him stay up if he's working on schoolwork for 2 1/2 hours.

Katie's Dungeon

2008-03-18T23:25:00.000-05:00

In my desperate attempt to regain control of my home, I decided to attempt to tackle Katie's dungeon first in order to return it to it's once castle-like appearance. One thing that struck me immediately is that she has WAY TOO MUCH STUFF! She has enough toys for about 10 little girls, but they just keep accumulating. I actually have a bagful of toys that she hasn't opened yet and has forgotten about. My first job is to dig through the pile of toys to see what she has outgrown or no longer plays with. These go in boxes for the garage sale that we will be having soon. Next, I need to cut back on the amount of toys she still plays with. Yes, little girls love tea parties and playing with their kitchen sets but I don't think it's necessary to have two extra large bins stuffed full of play dishes and play food. One medium or even a small bin would be sufficient.

Next come the clothes. Since the seasons are changing, this is a necessary evil that all parents must deal with. I must go through hand-me-downs to see what fits her for the coming season. What still fits that I should hold onto for next fall? What do I try to sell in the upcoming garage sale? What do I give to Goodwill? What do I pitch?

After the clothes are dealt with, I will have to do some heavy organizing of the toys. I think I'll have an area with the more schoolish toys. These probably won't be in her room because that's how pieces go missing and how I get upset and lose my temper. These will probably go in the school bins. This includes opposites cards, ABC and shapes/colors flashcards, lacing cards, read-aloud books, phonics games, etc. Then I'll organize her little toys as well as possible. She does love the little stuff like My Little Pony, Littlest Pet Shop, Barbie, Polly Pockets, etc. All of these are small with even smaller accessories. Since she doesn't care about playing with only one set of toys at a time, I probably won't worry too much about the mixing of such toys. As long as she can pick them up without being overwhelmed and her room can look peaceful, Momma and Katie can both be happy.

Finally I will want to give her room a good cleaning. Everything needs wiped down really well. Furniture needs to be moved to clean it. Windows need washed, floors cleaned, and the list goes on and on. I want to be finished by the end of this week. I then need to move on to the next dungeon. Sprinkle a little fairy dust and wish me luck!

The Sin of Guilt

2008-03-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

As a Christian, I know that my sins are paid for by the blood of Jesus. With Good Friday and Easter fast approaching, the actions of Christ's suffering, death, and Resurrection are on the minds of Christians everywhere. I have been dealing specifically with understanding how Jesus could pay for my sins. I mean, other people are allowed to screw up big-time but not me. Instead of allowing myself to sit in the lap of my loving Father, I prefer His wrath. He has already told me, "You're forgiven," yet I ask him to continue punishing me.

The guilt I am feeling is sinful. I have asked for repentance and Christ provided that on the cross. I have been forgiven and yet I cannot accept that. I need to change my outlook, but it's not all that easy. I am dealing with 6 months of screwing up all at once. I can now look with clear eyes when for months I was in the fog of mania. All I see is hurt, disappointment, neglect, and suffering toward the ones I love most. I know, I know, it was the illness taking over my being. I get it. I still am having a hard time accepting it. I don't want to blame my actions on my illness. It's a fine line to walk. I have free will and I need to make wise choices, but with bipolar disorder your mind can become your worst enemy. When your mind hates you, you make bad decisions. The thing is, you don't even realize that the choices you are making are bad choices. I still have consequences to face, although the Lord has laid out his mercy on me. My marriage is still intact, my children are healthy, and life is almost better now than before my last episode.

Also, I feel the guilt for placing a huge burden on my husband to provide for our family. I have always worked outside the home to help provide. Now Ken is at it alone and will need to pick up a part-time job in order to pay the bills. I feel horribly guilty about this. Ken has not done anything to make me feel guilty. He feels he's doing what is best for the family and is happy to see me healthy again. He wants me home and hopes that I will be able to get disability, but he isn't upset about my inability to work. He definitely is not blaming me. Why, oh why, can't I stop the guilt?

Excited and a Little Apprehensive

2008-03-17T17:03:00.000-05:00

Today was our first day back to school for a while. I've decided to add Katie into the mix, which adds another dimension to our homeschool. Even though I still think unschooling has it's advantages, I've decided to hit the books instead. Because of my being bipolar, I don't think unschooling is a good fit for my kids. I need more of a schedule to follow. Also Ken is not in agreement to that style of homeschool.

I wanted to keep it as simple as I could. We have Bible in the morning after breakfast but since there's a large age difference, Nathan reads to himself while I read Katie her Bible story. Then Katie colors her picture while Nathan and I work on his assignment. Then I work on phonics with Katie through Explode the Code or my own made up games while Nate works in his Easy Grammar book.

At this point, I send Nathan to his room to work on math and handwriting since the directions are pretty self-explanatory. I then work with Katie in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I wouldn't say she loves this book because she's ready to be done at the end of each lesson, but she's doing well so far. When both kids are done with their work, they have snack while I read aloud. You'd be amazed at how long it's taking us to finish Narnia's A Horse and His Boy. Let's just say that I'm ashamed at myself. Oh well. Nathan is remembering the characters quite well. A little better than I am. After our read-aloud, Nathan reads a few chapters in his own book while Katie plays on the computer. Finally, Katie naps while Nathan and I work on spelling and science or history.

Right now, school looks pretty boring to me. I would prefer that there be a lot of creativity in our day. I'm hoping that I will be able to master our schedule first before adding in too many extras. Fridays are our days to break away from the norm since the kids have co-op on that day and we take the rest of the day off. I'm hoping to add in plenty of games, outside play, crafts, and such.

We had a very successful day today. This includes Nathan complaining of an earache for 1.5 hours and my finding him a new primary care physician and scheduling him an appointment to see the Dr. tomorrow. At this point he tells me he's fine and decides to finish the school day so he can go play outside. Aaaahhhh! I haven't cancelled the appointment because I believe his ear really was hurting him. I think it may be a popped eardrum (again) because he said it hurts when he burps. One of his ears never seemed to heal correctly since he had tubes put in his ears as a toddler, although that is a wonderful surgery for any child with chronic ear infections. Nate also decided to be defiant right around lunch time and decided that he would NOT be making any vegetables with lunch. That was a quick way to lose his lunch privilege and be sent to his room. Even with those thrown into the mix, our day was productive and I feel good about our accomplishments.

Oh, by the way, Katie decided that it was okay to play outside in the snow without her coat on because, "It's not cold Mommy!" Oh, my crazy girl! Yes, I did bring her in and bundle her up.

A New Start

2008-03-16T02:49:00.000-05:00

It's been six months since my illness began taking hold of me. For those that don't know, I suffer from Bipolar Disorder. I hate to use the word suffer, but I really do suffer from it~so do my family and friends. I am finally starting to feel "normal" and healthy again. I ended my last blog because I didn't think it was good to blog while my mind was being hijacked by either mania or depression. They have a way of doing that. Now I feel I have more of a purpose. I am a Christian, a wife, a mother, a homeschooler, a friend, and a person with Bipolar.

The goal of my new blog is to show all aspects of these and how they work together. I am never just one part of the equation. My life has changed dramatically since I last blogged. I am no longer working (minus a day route I do once a week that takes about 3 hours.) I may try to pick up some babysitting jobs, but there's nothing in the works as of yet. Ken is planning on picking up a part-time job to supplement some of the missing income. We are also cutting back a LOT. We don't live a cushy lifestyle as it is. Cutting back will be an adjustment for us all.

Being home full-time means that I can be the wife and mother that I dream about. I'll still never be a Martha Stewart, but I can be as scheduled and organized as possible. I love putting my children to bed at night now. We have a night time routine that my working made very difficult. We sit down at the table for meals now. It's become a priority. Ken has taken on the role as head of household. I am trying to be a submissive wife. We are working hard to fulfill our new roles, and the change has caused some drama in our lives. We are learning to deal with each other in new ways. Right now I'm homeschooling the kiddos while working on a new schedule to get my house in some order. I wish I could just get a dumpster to get rid of all of the stuff, but that's not the best solution. Slow and steady, I will work my way through the mess.

Yes, I know this blog is long, but I am wanting to explain the changes in my life. I now take my meds. every night before bed. I see my psychiatrist once every two weeks and my therapist once a week. This is what I need to do to stay stable at this point. I am working on a relapse prevention plan. This is a plan of action if signs and symptoms of my illness begin to show their ugly face. As some may know, I am usually the last to know I am ill. By then, my mind is no longer my own. My kids have to be a priority through all of this. They are lucky to see their mother suffer through an illness because they will be stronger and more accepting of others with disabilities. Having a father with a physical disability (cerebral palsy) helps in their understanding of true humanness. We all have difficulties in life and we need each other. Families are God's perfect example of how we can be there for one another. The amount of support and encouragement that I have received over the past few months have been enormous. My family has backed me up and helped me in ways I never could have imagined. I feel blessed to have such a great support system in my family.

I decided to take on a daily topic (thanks Lori) to help organize my blog.

Monday~School Stuff-anything dealing with homeschooling
Tuesday~Organization for the Organizationally Challenged-schedules, cleaning, toy bins, oh my!
Wednesday~All Things Food-healthy food, menu help, dieting, anything to do with feeding a family.
Thursday~Let's Get Spiritual-how am I helping to grow my family spiritually? What is on my mind when it comes to God, the Bible, and a Christian worldview.
Friday~Dealing With Mental Illness-What does living with Bipolar look like? What are my struggles?
Saturday~Family Fun-Finding my way through the world's view of family and walking the narrow path of a Christian housewife.
Sunday~Extra, Extra-Our weekly activities that didn't make the list.